What is it in you that you tend to distance yourself from society? Or drama for that matter?  You begin to mull over and try to get to the crux of every situation- everything which happens in your day-to-day life. Well, we cannot blame society for it is overrated; it knows perfectly well how to kill a man and has methods beyond subtle death.

As far as society is concerned, youngsters like me who age betwixt eighteen to twenty are frequently nagged by adults with exclamations like  “You need to grow up!!” or “It’s high time, you better get your shit together!!” and “For god sake start behaving like an adult!!”. Words like these are like cloud bursts in our lives where we are drowning in this flood of expectations and exceptions. About 70% individuals of the entire population of our generation have begun to climb their ladders towards their dreams in ways like, blogging, own brand label, etc. but out of these 70% at least 40% don’t even realize the purpose of their hardwork, be it their own passion. And the lingering ratio falls under the much hyped “y.o.l.o” category. The whole thought of society is so clichéd that people bag you in various categories and expect you to grow up at the same time. Well, I wonder what their definition of growing up is.

I fathom growing up as accepting truths that our younger selves denied. Toys don’t arrive via a reindeer sleigh from the North Pole. I am not major league pitcher material but this age has been pretentious and growing up indeed is hard work. The path to maturity has no end, it’s wise to focus on journeying well. Along the way, emotionally healthy adults achieve the profound awareness that they do not know far more than they do know. The realization serves as an indispensable ally. Maturing requires seeing easy street as a dead end. Rather than obsess with making love in the green grass behind the stadium, grown-ups make love last. Grown-ups find balance. Effective parents view the shaping of youngsters’ attitudes as a moral imperative. Effective people understand that trying to control other people’s thoughts is morally loathsome. . True grown-ups counsel without scolding, lead without showing off, and teach without preaching.

Reason, emotion, fact, and fallacy, the human brain processes all four.Decisions emerge. With each decision, people grow or stay the same. The willingness to learn how to blend emotion with reason and make good decisions is a prerequisite for growth. To grow is to replace fallacy with fact and resist too-good-to-be-true illusions in order to prevent too-horrible-to-endure consequences. Grown-ups understand that some choices can feel wonderful at first, yet carry staggeringly bad long-term consequences. Fragile thinkers may feel warm and fuzzy about paying a single mother of five to remain unemployed and working on number six, but grown-ups see a half-dozen more welfare cases in the making. Acknowledging the likelihood of awful consequences is a mature trait. Almost cruelly, good judgment requires growing up even as growing up requires good judgment. Some “adults” are remarkably incapable of fathoming this Catch-22. . Grown-ups understand the difference. Childish idealists don’t.

Choosing between what’s wrong and what’s right at the core of an age-old societal challenge, here’s what I question;

1) Should “society” try to improve the lives of its witless, unskilled, and mentally unstable members? Society’s achievers generally want to help, but without coercion from government busybodies too willfully blind to grasp the power of the free market to channel the help.

2) How does society decide whom to help? Grown-ups acknowledge that given access to opportunity, capable people must make their own way. Negligent slackers must live with the pitiful results that crummy decisions and laziness invite. The ratio is 70:30 approx!!

Even should exploring such questions produce methods for helping society’s most exposed members, a more fundamental question will remain. Is our species clever enough to achieve the balance between logic and emotion vital to averting economic and cultural messes? Economy and culture are but secondary forms of the proof of what is being lost in the process of highlighting today’s youth into tomorrow’s future. Why isn’t ‘existence’ included in the books of society norms?

Had it been, many families would still have their sons/daughters in flesh. And a mother would cook their favorite vegetable for dinner and a father would reprimand his son for spending too much and yet giving him pocket money every day. Had it been, families wouldn’t be ashamed of stepping outside their home and their daughters wouldn’t be called “the girl who was raped”. Where does the sympathy go? Where does humanity hide its many faces?

I remember when I was younger and I wanted to look beautiful; now I’m older and I want to be intelligent. I want to burn hearts with brilliance and hook souls with compassion. This is what the young generation craves for, a chance. We all want to be twenty-something, unless we realize that age is just a number and growing up is learning that there’s no such thing as being an adult. You will only grow older and later, may become wiser. I think we all will do just fine

There’ll come a day when we all would have grown up, have a career and are going about our daily routine. Maybe you are driving to work with the radio on, or have cup-o’-noodles on a nice winter Sunday. Life as usual and then you hear a name. It’s the name of a person you once wrote a book full of poems about when you were sixteen. The person you had posters of up on your bedroom walls, or that band you used to love. The person of the cast of the movie that changed your life, or the character you scrolled through page after page of your favorite fiction book. You haven’t heard the name since long time and suddenly everything is back. And then the name is followed by the three words you thought you never hear “Has. Passed. Away”.  And then you put down your cup-o’-noodles and lean back for a while and tears start streaming. And all over the world there are people just like you, with tears rolling down and sobbing because they remember. Because fandoms never really die out. We never really move on. We never really forget. And that’s when you know, you’ve grown up.

And that not you but it’s the society who needs growing up.

Peace x



There went the morning bell, sharp at 6am in the morning. While the sky begins to stretch its arms and sun peeks up. We all loathed morning sprints, especially me. Well, that is the thing about boarding schools; everything has to go according to the schedule,unlessyou choose not to. Being a tenth grade student is obviously not stress-free, board exams, family pressure , high school drama, dandy boys and teachers giving us extra notes and advice and then that ‘concentrate on your future’ sessions, its like a compendium. However, apart from all that my favorite subject was English, both language and literature. I take the subject English as an ocean, unfathomable. There’s always something to learn, to discover. A science teacher can tell you how advanced can our future be. A History teacher teaches you how to learn from your past. And maybe a math teacher can show you how to count and get rich. But an English teacher can teach you ‘life’.Its probably one of the many reasons why I adore this subject. That day our English teacher introduced us to a new word “lexicon”.

A Lexicon is a group of words that makes up a language. In other way it too means your own dictionary.  Growing up I never thought that my very own passion about writing would be described by this title. So finally the usually indecisive  me got hold of a blog name “My Lost Lexicon” which not only is ironical but also has its meaning within a meaning. So much so that I decided to share my insight on lexicons and understand myself better.

Living in a generation where a filtered image is appreciated more than an ordinary personality, I’veread a saying “ you are the choices you make” and millions of such instagram posts which would describe a being.

But here’s a thought-provoking question,Do you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be? Should it be your way or their way?

it is said that brave and cowardly person are both fearful. However, it is the brave one who faces his fear and does what needs to be done. We will be faced with many such things that scare us throughout our lives. But growth can only take place when we take small steps. And that means making memories, building friendship, taking one step at a time.

Creating your own world. Creating a lexicon.

In literary terms a Lexicon is defined as a stock of words in a particular language. I see a Lexicon as a stock of memories, the state of being in a soul.

The people we meet, the songs we listen to,

the book we read, when you use #YOLO as your creed

the mistakes we make, the rules we break,

the times we cry, the last try,

The love we share, the guy affair,

The late night talks, the time when you hit the rock,

The secrets you reveal, the time you took to heal,

The letters you wrote and the hearts you broke,

the game you won, the moment when you revealed he/she is the one,

the promises you make, the time when everything seemed fake,

the melody in a state of trance, when you give yourself a chance.

Every little thing in your life is you.

But the thought that people often forget these things is disheartening and blue. Every person should have his own lexicon to remind themselves of who they are, and allow themselves to reflect upon their own deeds.

Pablo Picasso said “What you imagine can be real”. I don’t want to exist in time, what about “being time”? the thought of “being time” is elevating; to reflect on memories, actively live and project our expectations of the future in ‘the now’  the moment when time is immobile. This is what a lexicon should sound like. Just be. To exercise your right, and synchronize your mind with your body, to symphonize your dreams, to solidify your acts, where a world is truly your own.

As per me, I am just beginning to cram my lost lexicon by writing and sharing niceties, tedium and detritus of the day-to-day because these actions, objects and circumstances have meaning and significance to me. The movies and the great acts of heroism flashed on the social media are less captivating than the short videos of people doing simple, routine acts that bring us to tears because it reminds us that we can make a difference.

The supposedly trivial has meaning and grit to the individual and I want to explore what my own lexicon has to say about me hoping that it will reveal something significant.