Story of An Insomniac.

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “To Sleep, Perchance to Dream.”

One threaded in moss dreams
Dangling from a teardrop
Let the words drip like dew
Healing and soothing the cracks
Within my stone heart

The tales told from the soul
Tilts on the eyelash
A blink away
Those tales fall inside the iris galaxy
Where sleep becomes a lullaby

For the restless.

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MondayThoughts-

To be and to be creative are synonymous. It is impossible to be and not to be creative. But that impossible thing has happened, that ugly phenomenon has happened, because all your creative sources have been plugged, blocked, destroyed, and your whole energy has been forced into some activity that the society thinks is going to pay.
Just be and the world will adjust.

Have a great week ahead.
A x

A Moment.

Looking down to a porch where the Bluebells grow
Next to them the wild garlic will show
An old dusted swing creeks with a century of age
With brand new shoots and the sun they crave
A crystal clear thought to sublime and make my nest
Flows in my conscious what Sir Milton thought of the rest
The gentle swooping wind swifts down like dive bombing planes
In a field of pure sunset like country lanes
In the distance a Wood Pigeon coos
And the rest of the birds also voice their views
Beneath this sunset filled velvet persian sky
Hear the distinctive sound of a Pheasant cry
As dusk sets in with moon rising higher
far away glows a farmers pyre
Soon to come the majestic Bat
Skillfully collecting Moth and Gnat
Stood up to the wind debating on directions
A moment screaming perfect kind to non-fiction
Twelve hundred seconds of the life spent
And I shall call this My Moment.

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Blogger Note: I am on a weekend get-away at a hill station where my brother studies in a boarding school. Today I found myself sitting here at an old swing, reading Paradise Lost by JOHN MILTON. Maybe that’s why I was inspired to express my Moment in a form of poem.
It was simply magical. 🙂
Have a lovely weekend ❤

Deuce’s Rainbow.

As the sun goes down on my spirit 
The darkened sky rises black above it 
Clouds of infinite destinies begin to cry 
Not knowing of any reason why. 

Under pressure, the clouds grow thick 
Slowly time passes, yet the rain has yet to drip 
The sky grew from black to grey 
Choking any thoughts of yesterday. 

The past lives despite attempting to be free 
The future tries to grow like a deforested tree 
The rain starts to fall like little dark beads 
Strung into necklaces, drowning un-nurtured seeds. 

Black rain streaked through the sky 
Like it had nothing better to do, or try 
Trapped in the present between hello and goodbye 
It fell without trying, remorseful with nowhere to lie. 

It rained down black upon the ocean’s grim face 
And spread its black upon the open sea in disgrace 
The black moon knows the end is inside 
And behind the dark shadows it did hide. 

Dark Clouds hang the black rainbow in frame 
No one knows, sightless of the beauty, hidden in shame 
The rain is thick like bloodletting from above 
A strange sign of black coloured lover’s love. 

Then as it left, leaving sounds bereft, it whispered in my ear 
“Black rain will fall again, whenever you are near” 
I wanted to know black rain’s truth, yet it remained a mystery 
That black pain it put forth, in the way the answers alluded me.
——————————————————————–

Just having one of those days!

-A

Two.Zero.One.Five.

 “Just as new beginnings are important, so is honoring the experience of closure

Life is a collage of beginnings and endings that run together like still-wet paint. Yet before we can begin any new phase in life, we must sometimes first achieve closure to the current stage we are in. That’s because many of our life experience call for closure. Many people say they want to “start over”. However most people I know don’t do it, including me! And I have realized that’s because we cannot see the significance of an event or importance of a lesson until we have reached closure. Or, we may have completed a certain phase in life or path of learning and want to honor that ending. Closure serves to tie up or server loose ends, quiets the mind even when questions have been left unanswered, signifies the end of an experience and highlights the change that has taken place.

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When we seek closure, what we really want is an understanding of what has happened and an opportunity to derive what lessons we can learn from that experience. Without closure there is no resolution and we are left to grieve, relive old memories to the point of frustration, or remain connected to people from our past. And If you really cannot move on from that person, well, that are always rituals to do so. Write a farewell note to that person .and burn your note during the ceremony. As stupid as it may sound but something like this can allow you to honor and appreciate what has taken place between you and release the experience so you can move forward.

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Most people don’t strive for new beginnings because the unknown is scary.  Even though people may not like where their life is leading to at the moment. Many of us refuse to leave our own version of the world we live in because it’s familiar. And comfortable. And predictable. And requires minimal effort. Sounds cozy enough right? No. Actually not. But the average human is funny. We have a love/hate relationship with the familiar, the comfortable and the predictable. In the sophisticated literary terms as it is known as ‘dialectical tensions’. For example, one tension in real life can be called “predictability vs. novelty”. In other words, people love predictability, but yet crave for novelty. That’s what makes life so complicated!! But it also makes it fun!!

That’s why I believe that closure can help let go of feelings of anger or uncertainty regarding your past even as your honor your experience- whether good or bad- as a necessary step on your life’s path. Closure allows you to emotionally lay to rest issues and feelings that may be weighing down your spirit. When you create closure, you affirm that you have done what was needed, are wiser because of your experience, and are ready for whatever life wants to bring you next.

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Happy 2015!

Peace x

P.S: The above images were captured on Jan 1, 2015. My first page of the first chapter was nothing but simple and filled with happiness with my loved ones and i believe that’s what we all need at the end.  Love and spread love ❤

LEXICONS

There went the morning bell, sharp at 6am in the morning. While the sky begins to stretch its arms and sun peeks up. We all loathed morning sprints, especially me. Well, that is the thing about boarding schools; everything has to go according to the schedule,unlessyou choose not to. Being a tenth grade student is obviously not stress-free, board exams, family pressure , high school drama, dandy boys and teachers giving us extra notes and advice and then that ‘concentrate on your future’ sessions, its like a compendium. However, apart from all that my favorite subject was English, both language and literature. I take the subject English as an ocean, unfathomable. There’s always something to learn, to discover. A science teacher can tell you how advanced can our future be. A History teacher teaches you how to learn from your past. And maybe a math teacher can show you how to count and get rich. But an English teacher can teach you ‘life’.Its probably one of the many reasons why I adore this subject. That day our English teacher introduced us to a new word “lexicon”.

A Lexicon is a group of words that makes up a language. In other way it too means your own dictionary.  Growing up I never thought that my very own passion about writing would be described by this title. So finally the usually indecisive  me got hold of a blog name “My Lost Lexicon” which not only is ironical but also has its meaning within a meaning. So much so that I decided to share my insight on lexicons and understand myself better.

Living in a generation where a filtered image is appreciated more than an ordinary personality, I’veread a saying “ you are the choices you make” and millions of such instagram posts which would describe a being.

But here’s a thought-provoking question,Do you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be? Should it be your way or their way?

it is said that brave and cowardly person are both fearful. However, it is the brave one who faces his fear and does what needs to be done. We will be faced with many such things that scare us throughout our lives. But growth can only take place when we take small steps. And that means making memories, building friendship, taking one step at a time.

Creating your own world. Creating a lexicon.

In literary terms a Lexicon is defined as a stock of words in a particular language. I see a Lexicon as a stock of memories, the state of being in a soul.

The people we meet, the songs we listen to,

the book we read, when you use #YOLO as your creed

the mistakes we make, the rules we break,

the times we cry, the last try,

The love we share, the guy affair,

The late night talks, the time when you hit the rock,

The secrets you reveal, the time you took to heal,

The letters you wrote and the hearts you broke,

the game you won, the moment when you revealed he/she is the one,

the promises you make, the time when everything seemed fake,

the melody in a state of trance, when you give yourself a chance.

Every little thing in your life is you.

But the thought that people often forget these things is disheartening and blue. Every person should have his own lexicon to remind themselves of who they are, and allow themselves to reflect upon their own deeds.

Pablo Picasso said “What you imagine can be real”. I don’t want to exist in time, what about “being time”? the thought of “being time” is elevating; to reflect on memories, actively live and project our expectations of the future in ‘the now’  the moment when time is immobile. This is what a lexicon should sound like. Just be. To exercise your right, and synchronize your mind with your body, to symphonize your dreams, to solidify your acts, where a world is truly your own.

As per me, I am just beginning to cram my lost lexicon by writing and sharing niceties, tedium and detritus of the day-to-day because these actions, objects and circumstances have meaning and significance to me. The movies and the great acts of heroism flashed on the social media are less captivating than the short videos of people doing simple, routine acts that bring us to tears because it reminds us that we can make a difference.

The supposedly trivial has meaning and grit to the individual and I want to explore what my own lexicon has to say about me hoping that it will reveal something significant.