Plead the Fifth

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Plead the Fifth.”

“What are your plans ahead?” – People.

“I plead the fifth” Me. *While I’m killing the person 127578th time in my head*

“It’s really tough to survive out there, people will try to run you over”People.

*sits down next to them and sympathetically looks into their eyes* I don’t care.Me.


All through life most people cannot wait for a chance to step into the real world- Anticipating the chance to have more fun and more opportunities to do things that were always looked upon as being mature and cool. I’ve incessantly appreciated the idea of not being what people expect me to be. Sometimes I fail to believe so. I can surely blame myself but that’s not it. There’s more. There will always be more. Because people. Well hello? I’m under no obligation to make sense to anyone.

I honestly have no clue about my plans ahead!  I’m a pessimist, yes, but that doesn’t make me want to think my life in black and gray. I have painted a picture in my mind which has money, lessons, memories and lots of nutella jars. I don’t know the “how” and “when” but I do know the “why”. Because I know how much I’m asking for. There is a fine line between being concerned and being a pop-up nag.

Pop-up Nags – (n.) People who constantly pop-up in your life with feckless and cyclical questions who generally mistake their imagination with their memory.

Well, I don’t remember how I came up with this word but its close enough. The principle is quite familiar to the word “pop-up ad”. The similarity between “pop-up ads” and “pop-up nags” is that they both are a form of advertisements. Some are advertisements for a good cause but fails to differ (meaning some people who ask just for the sake of asking) while the others are existing just to annoy the human race. What better way to get a person to a specific level than to put advertisement right in their face whether they want it or not? That’s what I think when they ask me about my plans ahead. I’m twenty and there’s just so much to think. How can I manage to encapsulate all my thoughts and queries about my future in few sentences? I have so much to learn yet and I cannot wait to face my challenges and fail in some, because that is my contemporary plan and I’m sticking to it.

So that’s THAT!

Is that too much for pleading the fifth?

Maybe. Maybe not.

———–

P.S – This question really vexes me. So much so that I nearly began to rant about the society, about which I love to criticize. If only I could say “asdfghjkl” in real life.

*sigh*

Deuce’s Rainbow.

As the sun goes down on my spirit 
The darkened sky rises black above it 
Clouds of infinite destinies begin to cry 
Not knowing of any reason why. 

Under pressure, the clouds grow thick 
Slowly time passes, yet the rain has yet to drip 
The sky grew from black to grey 
Choking any thoughts of yesterday. 

The past lives despite attempting to be free 
The future tries to grow like a deforested tree 
The rain starts to fall like little dark beads 
Strung into necklaces, drowning un-nurtured seeds. 

Black rain streaked through the sky 
Like it had nothing better to do, or try 
Trapped in the present between hello and goodbye 
It fell without trying, remorseful with nowhere to lie. 

It rained down black upon the ocean’s grim face 
And spread its black upon the open sea in disgrace 
The black moon knows the end is inside 
And behind the dark shadows it did hide. 

Dark Clouds hang the black rainbow in frame 
No one knows, sightless of the beauty, hidden in shame 
The rain is thick like bloodletting from above 
A strange sign of black coloured lover’s love. 

Then as it left, leaving sounds bereft, it whispered in my ear 
“Black rain will fall again, whenever you are near” 
I wanted to know black rain’s truth, yet it remained a mystery 
That black pain it put forth, in the way the answers alluded me.
——————————————————————–

Just having one of those days!

-A

Liebster Nominated!

The lovely KC from the eleventh letter nominated me for a Liebster Award ! Thankyou so much for the nomination, I am definitely honored that the writer of a blog that I read actually reads my blog too!

So what is Liebster Award all about?

Well, basically this award is given to up and coming bloggers and nominations are from the other bloggers! The word Liebster” means dearest in German. It’s a way for new bloggers to be discovered and recognized.

Rules: 

  • Thank and link the person who nominated you.
  • Answer the questions given by the nominator.
  • Nominate 11 other bloggers, who have less than 200 followers and link them.
  • Create 11 new questions for the nominees to answer.
  • Notify all nominees via social media/blogs.

Here are my answers to KCs questions: 

What makes you happy? 

Family and writing! That is my happy.

What is your favorite quote?

“I can shake off everything as I write; my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn.” – Anne Frank

Do you have a hero?

I honestly don’t believe in heroes/idols that much. I have too many expectations from myself meanwhile.

How did you figure out the name for your blog?

I relapsed into my high school days when my English teacher introduced a new word to the class, LexiconsI’m glued to that word ever since.

What blog post are you the most proud of?

So far I love my post on a Letter to My Future-self  because it reflects me and makes me believe in future, letting me know that the journey is worth it!

What is your definition of success?

“Work hard in silence, and let your success make the noise” – Because I don’t believe in show-offs and mediocrity.

What are three things you want in your lifetime?

1) Go to Tomorrowland (the day I go here, will be the day I’ve lived!)

2) Own a magazine company.

3) Earn my life! (there’s a difference between earning and simply living)

What decade are you most fascinated with?

The 40’s. Why? Because  a) The period of Second world war, hence Hitler! b) Anne Frank and her life through the second world war.

What new blog has grabbed your attention as of recently?

Currently obsessing over Truth and Cake because, I love the way she manages to write every deep sentiment in a reader-friendly way. It’s inspiring.

Name your three favorite albums.

“X” by Ed Sheeran. “1989” by Taylor Swift (don’t get mushy on me, that woman has talent) and the whole music of Bruno Mars (if I could only marry him)

How long have you been blogging?

Been blogging since December 2014 and bumping into so many amazing bloggers here!

My Questions:

  • Are you a morning person or a night Owl?
  • What is the one thing you are incredibly bad at?
  • What is your favorite movie soundtrack?
  • Describe yourself in three words.
  • On a scale of 1-10, how adventurous are you?
  • Where do you live? Do you like it?
  • What is a piece of advice you would give to your future self?
  • Are you more of a cat person or a dog person?
  • What is your guilty pleasure?
  • What is your favorite color?
  • Do you have any advice for me and/or other bloggers who are just starting?

I NOMINATE:

Shower Thoughts — Galloping Free — Lightwalkers Blog — Extracts from a Personal Diary — Avaruussuo BennaKim — The Owl, The Fox & I — A Beautiful Disaster — Little Dreams — Don’t Get Wasted

Have fun!

-A

Letter to My Dream Reader.

We are only as blind as we want to be – Maya Angelou

Dear Future Me,

I see you smiling, sitting so peacefully; you are simply in awe. You’re looking at me, the younger, and more naive, more determined, more self-righteous self; you have nothing but love and gratitude for me. You watch me cry on my living room floor, completely bored and unmotivated by life. You see that I am outraged at how stuck I feel. You watch me consumed by more depression tied to how large my body has become; you see me struggle daily. You see the pain I carry around in my heart.

You see my struggle, you see me have momentary outbursts and cry in fits of rage; and you see that I make it through. You see that I’m OK. My pain, my struggles, my issues are not what define me. You see that I make it through this rough patch, and you know that I come out stronger, smarter and more self-aware than ever before.

I see you smile with gratitude for all of the lessons I am in the middle of. The gut wrenching, painful moments of extreme self-hate, followed by harsh judgments and flurries of condescending words; you are proud to have them be a part of your past. You made it through and hold nothing but positive loving thoughts for yourself.

Future Me, your energy and love is infectious. You have a knowing way about you that is wise, patient and graceful. You see that everything is always in right order and that what I am going through right now is part of my bigger plan. It’s as if you know that all of this turbulence and stress was divinely put into my life to help me become the person I need to be; the person that you ARE.

Future self, I know that you’re so proud of me for learning these lessons, for rolling up my sleeves and doing the work on myself that’s required; for getting into the trenches of my own life to prepare me for my next chapter. You’re oozing with awareness and you see that I am getting it. Day by day, I am trying, and I am learning.

I choose to work toward you, and by taking responsibility for my life. You smile because you see that I get it, that the choices I make today affect you and your daily life in the future. You see that I am showing up and doing the best I can. You see that what may feel like not enough, even a failure, for me is more than enough in your eyes. You are proud and honored to have been me.

Future self, I see that somewhere between you and me, we have figured it out. I am so thankful that you take care of yourself every single day. I am so honored to become you. Future self, the most powerful thing you are showing me is what is possible with our life. I can’t wait to meet you.

You are not defined by your problems, or any situation that you find yourself in. You ride the waves of life with such ease; it makes me want to catch up to you faster. I see that together we figure it out. I know that my life is a moment-by-moment web of intricate experiences and reactions that help me shape you. I am working to make myself better for you, for us.

I am showing up for all of my assignments. I am choosing to be happy. And I am choosing to love openly and honestly. Future self, I am going to take big risks because I know that you know that I, that WE, need me to. I am not going to settle EVER AGAIN.

Our experiences make us who we are. I choose to let my dreams and my successes define me; I release my problems and the attachments that keep me identifying with them. I am no longer weighed down by self-loathing thoughts. I choose to be happy.

Future self, you rock, and I am so unbelievably proud I get to become you.

Love forever,

Your younger, not-so-together, passionate and overweight, yet doing the best she can, and hopeful self …

Alekha.

Le Neighbors!

Day 3 is marked as the maximum number of blogs visited by me. Never have I ever explored so much in my blogging life! Now, when I say ‘explore’ I mean to delve for something specific and that’s what I did.

Below is the list of my five new and currently favorite bloggers because it is really intriguing to see life and living through their eyes, also the ‘why’ behind their every beautiful thought instantly made me hit the follow button. It is worth a visit people!

1

The Darkest Raven- Collection

The Darkest Raven- Collection

http://thedarkestraven.wordpress.com/  – A fantastic blog based on unparalleled collection of poems, emotive quotes and serene visual arts. Her words defines power and her picture, a beautiful story. She writes:

Poetry is like a wine to me

I took a sip and wanted more

I write until I’m drunk with my own words

Then share them when I become sober

2.

Susie-Lau-11

BLOG: ELIZABETHNASHWRITES

https://elizabethnashwrites.wordpress.com/ – I came across this blog while exploring under the topic “POP CULTURE” along with fashion. I love how she brought up the subject of Celebrity Culture and putting forward a strong question to the readers:

A detriment or a boon to the fashion industry?

3.

BLOG: WRITTENINRUBIES

BLOG: WRITTENINRUBIES

http://writteninrubies.wordpress.com/ – This blog is more of a Mixed-media types. Business, fitness, poetry and life. Each post is differentiated by others but talks about one thing in common: LIVING! .  I came across this blog while looking for the title “DARK HUMOR” . 

4.

BLOG: DON'T GET WASTED

BLOG: DON’T GET WASTED

https://dontgetwasted01.wordpress.com/ – I found this blog amusing and fun. I am normally not a fan of short stories but the author of this blog (Vicky!) is rather honest to the core and the humor in his words is what attracted me.

5.

buttars-peak-1

BLOG: LITTLE MINX

http://littleminx.wordpress.com/ – I can  sum up the introduction of this blog by one line – “Her pictures are as powerful as her words” . A very enthusiastic and high-spirited blogger. A fun package 😀

So that’s it! I actually explored the topics prior to the following of blogs from my reader. The topics I added today includes :

Dark Humor, Pop Culture, Resolutions, Random Musings and Ravens. 

I am so happy. Oh My God, I just took my reader to a whole new level!

Be right back

x

Talking-Tags-Today!

“I cannot even begin to write about the rush in my head and the happiness in my heart at this very moment. I am just happy. Exultant. Why? Because I finally got my head together and started my own freaking blog!! It is named as “MY LOST LEXICON” and I am just like this huge bag of contentment and optimism today. This month has embarked with so much positivity in me and I am longing to stay the same for the next 30 days and end this chapter with no qualms but only faith.”

This was written on 1st December 2014. It is a page from my lopsided diary.

I was being my usual indecisive when I finally decided to title my blog with this name because the word “LEXICON” itself is a word comprising of many other words. In simple words, it means your own dictionary. And that’s my way of saying that every little thing about you, is what makes you, you! You have your own lexicon, the way you talk, the way you cry or the way you even eat! It defines you and you are known by the same. The best part about lexicons is that they are unfathomable and immortal. And hence I came up with a tag-line and kept it simple saying “Inspiration exists”, because discovering has no end and we all are here for the same.

Too read more about My Lost Lexicon: https://mylostlexicon.wordpress.com/2014/12/

HER STORY.

2014-07-12-00-45-25-041

Hi! I’m Alekha, folks call me Aliyah and I live in the city which is known as “the city of dreams”, Bombay, India. So I’m Twenty and birthdays are not my thing. Fashion and Writing is definitely my niche. I am a Fashion graduating student and yes, I was one of those girls who had dozens of Barbie dolls with high-end Barbie clothes and accessories (which obviously outnumbered my wardrobe, even now).  So that! Wasn’t it obvious?

About writing, I’d be lying if I said that this is my first time trying to keep up with the blogging routine and for that I blame my indecisive nature. Many of my friends tell me that I say “I would do this” and “I would do that”, but I never really do it. I’m slothful that way and I want to break this pattern, seriously! Apart from the oodles of false promises and self-betrayal, there’s one thing for which I am fervent about, writing. And that’s what I am going to do and that’s why I am here.

I started blogging about a month back, and I’m sure this platform can be one of my major tools to polish my words and thoughts and also help me break my perpetual chain of lethargy. I want to confess that I am not someone who’s obsessed about reading books, or have any favorite particular authors or poets or someone who writes three poems or articles in a day. No. I am here because I genuinely love poems, reading books, words, art and the ‘why’ behind every thought, especially of these inimitable bevy of folks here. I write because everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are alone in the world and that they are not good enough for anything or something in particular. Having the fear of never waking up and their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that the circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they’ll be stuck in between forever. And forever is long enough to get used to denial. However, I feel that the best way to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way too. And that’s what we do, right?

I myself am a bowl of unpredictability. So much so that I am usually torn between what I want and what I need. And I know I am not alone. Our credence makes us unanimous, and I am glad to share myself here and ready to discover. 🙂