What is it in you that you tend to distance yourself from society? Or drama for that matter?  You begin to mull over and try to get to the crux of every situation- everything which happens in your day-to-day life. Well, we cannot blame society for it is overrated; it knows perfectly well how to kill a man and has methods beyond subtle death.

As far as society is concerned, youngsters like me who age betwixt eighteen to twenty are frequently nagged by adults with exclamations like  “You need to grow up!!” or “It’s high time, you better get your shit together!!” and “For god sake start behaving like an adult!!”. Words like these are like cloud bursts in our lives where we are drowning in this flood of expectations and exceptions. About 70% individuals of the entire population of our generation have begun to climb their ladders towards their dreams in ways like, blogging, own brand label, etc. but out of these 70% at least 40% don’t even realize the purpose of their hardwork, be it their own passion. And the lingering ratio falls under the much hyped “y.o.l.o” category. The whole thought of society is so clichéd that people bag you in various categories and expect you to grow up at the same time. Well, I wonder what their definition of growing up is.

I fathom growing up as accepting truths that our younger selves denied. Toys don’t arrive via a reindeer sleigh from the North Pole. I am not major league pitcher material but this age has been pretentious and growing up indeed is hard work. The path to maturity has no end, it’s wise to focus on journeying well. Along the way, emotionally healthy adults achieve the profound awareness that they do not know far more than they do know. The realization serves as an indispensable ally. Maturing requires seeing easy street as a dead end. Rather than obsess with making love in the green grass behind the stadium, grown-ups make love last. Grown-ups find balance. Effective parents view the shaping of youngsters’ attitudes as a moral imperative. Effective people understand that trying to control other people’s thoughts is morally loathsome. . True grown-ups counsel without scolding, lead without showing off, and teach without preaching.

Reason, emotion, fact, and fallacy, the human brain processes all four.Decisions emerge. With each decision, people grow or stay the same. The willingness to learn how to blend emotion with reason and make good decisions is a prerequisite for growth. To grow is to replace fallacy with fact and resist too-good-to-be-true illusions in order to prevent too-horrible-to-endure consequences. Grown-ups understand that some choices can feel wonderful at first, yet carry staggeringly bad long-term consequences. Fragile thinkers may feel warm and fuzzy about paying a single mother of five to remain unemployed and working on number six, but grown-ups see a half-dozen more welfare cases in the making. Acknowledging the likelihood of awful consequences is a mature trait. Almost cruelly, good judgment requires growing up even as growing up requires good judgment. Some “adults” are remarkably incapable of fathoming this Catch-22. . Grown-ups understand the difference. Childish idealists don’t.

Choosing between what’s wrong and what’s right at the core of an age-old societal challenge, here’s what I question;

1) Should “society” try to improve the lives of its witless, unskilled, and mentally unstable members? Society’s achievers generally want to help, but without coercion from government busybodies too willfully blind to grasp the power of the free market to channel the help.

2) How does society decide whom to help? Grown-ups acknowledge that given access to opportunity, capable people must make their own way. Negligent slackers must live with the pitiful results that crummy decisions and laziness invite. The ratio is 70:30 approx!!

Even should exploring such questions produce methods for helping society’s most exposed members, a more fundamental question will remain. Is our species clever enough to achieve the balance between logic and emotion vital to averting economic and cultural messes? Economy and culture are but secondary forms of the proof of what is being lost in the process of highlighting today’s youth into tomorrow’s future. Why isn’t ‘existence’ included in the books of society norms?

Had it been, many families would still have their sons/daughters in flesh. And a mother would cook their favorite vegetable for dinner and a father would reprimand his son for spending too much and yet giving him pocket money every day. Had it been, families wouldn’t be ashamed of stepping outside their home and their daughters wouldn’t be called “the girl who was raped”. Where does the sympathy go? Where does humanity hide its many faces?

I remember when I was younger and I wanted to look beautiful; now I’m older and I want to be intelligent. I want to burn hearts with brilliance and hook souls with compassion. This is what the young generation craves for, a chance. We all want to be twenty-something, unless we realize that age is just a number and growing up is learning that there’s no such thing as being an adult. You will only grow older and later, may become wiser. I think we all will do just fine

There’ll come a day when we all would have grown up, have a career and are going about our daily routine. Maybe you are driving to work with the radio on, or have cup-o’-noodles on a nice winter Sunday. Life as usual and then you hear a name. It’s the name of a person you once wrote a book full of poems about when you were sixteen. The person you had posters of up on your bedroom walls, or that band you used to love. The person of the cast of the movie that changed your life, or the character you scrolled through page after page of your favorite fiction book. You haven’t heard the name since long time and suddenly everything is back. And then the name is followed by the three words you thought you never hear “Has. Passed. Away”.  And then you put down your cup-o’-noodles and lean back for a while and tears start streaming. And all over the world there are people just like you, with tears rolling down and sobbing because they remember. Because fandoms never really die out. We never really move on. We never really forget. And that’s when you know, you’ve grown up.

And that not you but it’s the society who needs growing up.

Peace x


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